October

“Walang ulam, tara sardinas nalang.” (Roughly translated, no meal, grab a can of sardines.)

 

“Walang pera pre, tamo sardinas lang ulam ko.” (Bro, I don’t have money. See, I’m only eating canned sardines.)

 

I remember sardines in a small red or green can. Brand: Ligo. Regular or spicy. Easily accessible when you go to a sari-sari* store ( *a tiny convenience neighborhood store usually steps away from one’s house). You eat it on its own (with rice of course, always with rice), or mix it with eggs or misua (wheat vermicelli) for a satisfying meal.

 

For all the inside jokes about it, it’s a beloved Filipino staple. Like that popular romantic cliche of making fun of someone you secretly admire.

 

When I moved to the US, my reintroduction to sardines, canned sardines to be specific, came in the form of a Chinese man. Mr. Peter Cheng.

 

I met him at a church I used to go to. He would sit in the far corner of the pews, by himself, quietly. He didn’t seem bored or anti-social, he just seemed content. So I’d often hesitate to approach him, I felt like I’ll be bursting a self-imposed happy bubble. But one day, we looked each other in the eye, somehow… and finally broke the ice or burst the bubble.

 

We started talking. He had a ready smile, twinkling eyes and lots of stories. He was 95 or so at the time. He’d been going to this non-denominational church by himsef since his wife goes to a Chinese-speaking church with her friends. He has kids who all lived in California. He went to school in UCLA. Pretty sure he was in the military. He once owned a Chinese restaurant in New Haven and he showed me newspaper clippings of all the amazing reviews about it. We kept on talking. I walked him to his car and waved him goodbye. But before I could leave, he told me to wait. He walked slowly to the trunk of his car, look me in the eye and handed me a 6-pack of canned sardines.

 

He goes on to explain that these are the best sardines. He eats it all the time. They are healthy and good for you. He likes this one specifically — this green box, this drawing of this woman, it’s 100 % Olive Oil.

 

He handed it to me proudly like he was handing me a trophy. I received it like I was being awarded a medal of honor.

 

Mr. Peter Cheng and I would go out to lunch after church a handful of times after. He always had with him a treasure trove of memories and pictures and paper clippings — all in his worn and thick black wallet, always with his small little address book where he had everyone’s phone number and address. I wish I remember a lot of his stories but I don’t. I do remember that when we would walk him back to his car, he had a 6-pack of sardines ready for me. Green box, a drawing of a woman, 100% olive oil.

I lost touch with Mr. Peter Cheng at some point. The last time I saw him was at his funeral a few years ago.

 

Since I can’t find the Filipino Ligo brand in the US, when I crave sardines, I buy this green box. Usually one or two from the supermarket. I only today realized its actual brand name, Season. I will probably forget that name tomorrow. I think of it as Mr. Peter Cheng’s sardines, green box, drawing of a woman, 100 % olive oil.

 

A couple of years ago, in Lisbon, Portugal, an Airbnb host enthusiastically told me of a popular restaurant in the city. All it serves is canned seafood, mostly sardines. Followed her advice and went. It was very busy. When you go in you’re greeted by a big shelf of canned sardines. You point to what you want or you can follow their menu suggestions. They open the can for you, put it beautifully on a plate with some garnish, and serve.

 

You sit at a cramped little table surrounded by young people drinking wine leisurely.

I marveled and ate. Happily. Like I have a little secret. Because I do.

 

I secretly laugh as I imagine all the Filipino jokes and meme’s that being here, and seeing this could start.

I secretly smile as I remember Mr. Peter Cheng, challenging all these trendy packagings with his one and only brand of canned sardines.

 

This year I went to Costco with a friend. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to one of these. As we walked the massive aisles, my head started spinning.

 

Everywhere is everything! My brain was hyperactivated. Am I hungry? Thirsty? Cold? Hot? Do I need this? How about that? OH. Maybe I need that? And that? And that? Because I felt like I needed all of everything, I knew I didn’t really need anything. So I looked at all of it from afar and I walked and walked.

 

Finally, I see something familiar. Green box, drawing of a woman, 100 % olive oil. Mr. Peter Cheng’s! It was a six-pack. I didn’t really think I need it but I wanted it. I suddenly missed canned sardines. I haven’t had one in a while. I happily grab a pack.

 

A few weeks ago I read a cookbook: Run Fast, Cook Fast, Eat Slow. I read here how canned sardines are better for you than tuna. It is actually one of the best fishes you can eat. It’s more sustainably caught and has good nutrients and low levels of mercury.

 

Followed their recipe of sardines with pesto, spinach, and pasta. So simple, supposedly very healthy. It was yummy. This meal was like a modern take, a fusion of all the sardine stories I’ve collected throughout the years.

 

The other day, my neighbor handed me a can. Of sardines. So familiar! It was a drawing of the same woman. But it was a blue box. This was sardines in water. Not 100 % olive oil like I’m used to.

I wondered if Mr. Peter Cheng ever tried this.

 

This morning, I opened my pantry and wondered what I should make myself for breakfast. I see canned sardines, 3 packs of green, and 1 of blue. I opened my fridge and see eggs and one tomato. I call my Mom and ask her to remind me how we used to cook sardines for breakfast in the Philippines. She gives me a vaguely specific answer — you know how home recipes are. They’re an exploration rather than an instruction. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. And you go figure it out.

I’ve learned to love this kind of cooking. You work with what you know, what you have, who you are, and what you want to eat. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But I eat anyway and I’m always learning something as I do.

 

I checked and National Sardines Day is November 24. I’m not sure what brought about this walk down memory lane, of canned sardines of all things. But I’m learning to follow where the wind blows and have fun while I do so.

 

I cooked myself a big, colorful, chaotic first-week-of-October breakfast today. I cooked and remembered my roots, I ate and remembered my journey. It’s a fun although admittedly, distracting way to eat. I wrote as I ate. I ate as I wrote.

 

I think I’m feeding my heart as much as I’m feeding my stomach.

 

Happy October to you all I read that October came from the Latin word “octo” which means eight. A symbol of wealth and prosperity, peace and fertility. Harvest time!

 

I think about the unassuming sardines — tightly packed in a little can, full of nutrients and cultural significance. Seemingly insignificant but actually a (rich) gift to the (poor) man.

 

Ah, the good stuff of life.