2016 election was a kick in the stomach for me.
It shattered a lot of my preconceived notions of who America was/is. I think it was more painful because these notions were built not from living outside of this place, or looking at it from afar… but it was from being inside.
As dramatic as it might sound, 
I felt incredibly betrayed. Yet that was the honest truth. After Trump won the election, I saw a few good articles on his voters. “Read from people you disagree with,” someone once gave me as advice. As hard as it was, I did. I had to. Because deeper than my desire to lash out was my desire to understand. “He’s not a politician, but a regular, honest man. He is going to fight for me,” is what it almost always comes down to.
As someone who’s lived and grown up in a country with its too many corrupt politicians, this was incredibly difficult for me to process. In my eyes, this is the biggest politician of them all. Still. Yes. I had a glimpse of who/what these voters were fighting for. Their fears, their insecurities, their hopes and dreams, their little corner of the universe.
The years that followed have been painful growth years for me. I won’t attribute that to a president or to politics. Nope, but to the change that happened in me and the actions I needed to take for myself as I finally begin to understand the world I am in.
Dave Chappelle goes, “I think we’re getting a really good look at each other now.” That was it. I attribute it to that. Awareness. Knowledge. More understanding. Seeing me, you — humans, with all our frailties and flaws wide open. I cannot look away, now that my eyes have been opened, wide. Not anymore.
There’s a line in a song that goes, “All of our heroes fading.” (Lorde, Perfect Places) That was it. I attribute it to that too. I am self-confessed idealist. And how painful it was/is to not be a child anymore, to outgrow the idea that someone will come and save me and the world I live in. All of my heroes fading. Ahh, painful. (No, politics was never mine.)
The last few years of being out and about were my saving grace. Because there, here, I’ve stumbled into the real life that gets so easily concealed when all we do is look up or look down. This life is one that I can reach. It’s the life that invites me to participate and belong, fully and wholeheartedly. It’s the life that looks at me as an equal, with a sparkle of challenge in its eyes and a radical honesty that won’t let me look away.
This life goes, “Hey, do your part. Here, if you want a hero, look around, or better yet, look at you.” It was hard to listen, but I tried.
What I saw are my boots. And all these boots on the ground. To my fascination, I realized, this is what’s making this world run. Our boots on the ground. Mine. Yours. Ours.
2020. Yes, I did a jump — up and down — as I saw the results. I was rooting for this and it felt good to see it happen. I know it didn’t feel like that for a lot of other people, though. And I am sorry because if you’re on the other side, it sucks. I know. 
And as the results continue to get contested, who the hell knows 
Van Jones go, “It feels like a vindication.” It really does. That was it. Because now, there are no heroes in my head. I am not looking up or looking down. I know the real hard work is up ahead and yet it has not begun. Or better yet, maybe, it never stopped.
So I continue to look around, boots on the ground. And I tie mine, tightly. Double knot it, as I speak. #ThankYouNext #BleedingLove #LastThoughtsOnThis
